Dudes Day Out at Ashram

(Consider this as the first scene of movie Pulp Fiction where Vincent and Jules are going to shoot some guys who double crossed their boss, Dude: Jules, The Dude: Vincent...)

Dude: Hey Kid, is Mr. Self-Styled God-man available ?

Random guy: The master is in his study Sir, Please follow me.

G-Man: wow! what an unexpected surprise ?? Greetings to u, you who are not my children, Greetings. what do I owe to this visit?

The Dude: u son of a bitch...u know what do u owe to us...even if you do not owe anything to us.. still we take way your life.

The Dude:   hey G-man..u know what is this ?? (looking at his short gun)

G-Man: is this a mongoose .......??

The Dude: whoa-whoa-- wait a minute.. what the hell r u talking about??? We like animals..

Dude: not because of  animal right activists...  its because they taste gud. We dont use them to kick ur dumb ass...  ok??

G-Man: I am talking about mongoose bat, the animal in IPL-3.. have u guys seen matthew Hayden batting recently???

The Dude: Holy crap, thats the patented invention of our still bachelor brother Hanuman under the name of "Gada".  This poor- racist-uneducated auz monsters dont understand patent laws. Hey bro, ask our task-force to kick his ass for infringement of a patent.

Dude: but bro, this dude makes awesome barbeque. We can forgive him for our last maddu meal , rasam with barbeque at P.A. Chidambaram stadium.

The Dude:  Ummm..., I forgave him all that debt because my brother, dude, entreated me.

The Dude: dude, get the patent rights for this mongoose bat

Dude: hey bro, we r running out of time, we have to catch up an  ipl-3 match in I-max at 8pm.

The Dude: holycrap...i stopped watching IPL-3 just because of one irritating to death ad "Akshay Kumar- laughing like Rahul Mahajan" ad.

Dude: hey G-man, hasn't India laughed enough on his movies??

G-Man: I dont watch Hindi movies

Dude: bro lets finish this self-made god-man split personality first,

The Dude: dude G-man, this is part of ur sick amateur scandal, n now u dont tell me, she is taking care of ur fucking sick ass.

G-Man:  U lost in a world beyond ur understanding my dear son.

The Dude:  I don't want any more of that shit. Can u hear me, u God-man?  Can u fucking hear me??

Dude: hey G-Man, u just tell us, what the hell u were doing with that lady??

G-Man: I was doin my research, I am dreaming of a castle in the air, above the blue mountains ..  a castle made of clouds..

The Dude: Put the fucking gun to his ass and pull the trigger bro. Nobody's gonna know . Just you and me and God.

Dude: FYI G-man, this is not a mongoose bat, its a short gun with long handle, n thanks for your mongoose bat cancept, we would use it, if we found Lalit Modi's scandal.

God-man:  I do meditation and healing for the people. I want to heal their pain. I want to work for the mankind.

The Dude: Shut up... looking over the headlines and ur tape, I am not sensing any ethinic diversity, dont u think u shuold look into that??

G-Man: see my dear son... there are many different philosophies.

The Dude: if u talk about philosophy again, i will silent treatment ur ass into the ground, hope u understand what I mean??

G-Man:  my friend Bejan daaruwalla already laid out my future with is his super natural astrological skills.  Its already drawn and defined, the universe is conspiring against me  and the celestial bodies are not cooperating. I know u guys are part of it.

The Dude: who the hell is this "Bejan daaruwalla"?? is he "Malhotra Uncle's Kid"??

Dude: bro, he is the master of manipulation, he spoiled many of my friends love marriages with his stupid astrological concepts and Ganesha speaks spamming.

The Dude: whoa... the fat guy..with always double meanings and simple tricks.

Dude: yops, double meanings that are almost always correct because they cover all possibilities!

Dude: That dude even come up with your fortune too, Bro.

The Dude: what the hell did he say about me

Dude:  "You like to be decisive but sometimes you find it hard to make decisions."

The Dude: Sweet heavens...again a double meaning, incomplete statement, let me show him how easy I make my decisions ..

The Dude: take me to him in my next visit, lets kick his fortune cookies out of his fat ass.

Dude: bro. we are running out of time.

G-Man: See my dear son, Let me b frank,  I am 33 years old, my niece, the daughter of my sister is getting married. My biological clock is ticking like my alarm clock,  and the way my followers list increasing, I ain't never getting married.

The Dude: u know G-man.. "There are two beings that are not Gods, that existed before humanity dreamed of Gods, that will exist after the last God is dead. the two beings are Me "The Dude"

 n my bro "Dude" ... Amen.

(my bro, blown up this self-styled god-man's ass)

Dude: Rest in peace troubled God-man, hope u don't dare  to mess with south angels again on heaven now... Amen.